Tom’s Graphic Design Journal

Ok so in my random readings I found out about this project management/work flow idea/model called Scrum. I thought cool, maybe someone devised an easy to understand and efficient way of working in a team (especially with developers). This could be super useful for what I do all day long!

The short of it? Nope. After reading trusty wikipedia, I've learned that "Scrum" is the single most retarded system that someone could invent!

First off the whole word comes from Rugy. Ok fine. Good...Because it sounded pretty fucking fowl to me and nasty. More importantly it is an absolute waste of time and resources. The model involves way too many people (perhaps it could involve less) and way too many steps. I'm sure like everything else out there the entire system is devised to employ more people and spread around money. Why? God only knows why. It is really necessary to have a sales person sell a client a product then have that client's project manager consult with the sales company's project manager to then consult with the design firm's project manager to then hand off to a designer to work on and go back and forth through the chain several times? In the end the final project becomes devoid of any design skill or even fails to do what it was sold to do? No of course not, but guess what? That shit happens every day.

I really love this analogy they have made for the roles in the "Scrum." Chickens and pigs. The pigs are the developers. Wow. Gee. Thanks. The chickens are those interested in the project but really irrelevant (um...so why are they there?) because (get this) IF it fails, they are not a pig. Meaning they had no commitment. Meaning they are still ok. Oh......so I get it. Blame the poor developers. Blame the people who can actually DO the work. Sure fire them if shit goes down wrong. They're replaceable right?

Give me a break! Sometimes you just don't find talented developers walking around on the street you know. What can you find? Some bullshit assistant or person that can use Word and Excel to be one of thse so called chickens...and they should be cheap. Whereas a developer should be more expenisve.

Maybe not. Who knows...But boy this world is really screwed upside down isn't it? Of course the actual product owner is also on the pig team...but we all know his/her job is perfectly safe! Unless it's some larger operation maybe...MAYBE. So what do they call these people who can use Word and Excel? "Consulting Experts." Maybe...just maybe they took a basic course somewhere in software development. Maybe they have some minor insight besides using Word and Excel that makes then an "expert" right? Otherwise they would just be a normal consultant.

Give me a break. How many meetings and how many people are involved? Guess it depends. What a complete waste of time. People. Staying on top of your projects is as easy as one person overseeing and knowing what's up. Then using a collabrotive device (even a printed sheet of paper each day) like basecamp or trac. Then prioritizing. Delagating. Assigning. Knowing your team. Working well with your team. It's as simple as that. Maybe...Just maybe on larger projects this might make sense or some variation of it. Maybe you need a consultant. Sure. Why not? I have my reservations because most so called consultants are a complete load of ass...But I can understand on some very serious and very large project...But this whole Scrum system? Stupidity. Waste. Judge for yourself, read it on wikipedia. We just all have to learn how to see through this corporate bull shit and red tape. It's really just hurting the working class and those who actually have the skill to do something. It lets those who don't know shit hide more easily.

   

Ok so in my random readings I found out about this project management/work flow idea/model called Scrum. I thought cool, maybe someone devised an easy to understand and efficient way of working in a team (especially with developers). This could be super useful for what I do all day long!

The short of it? Nope. After reading trusty wikipedia, I've learned that "Scrum" is the single most retarded system that someone could invent!

First off the whole word comes from Rugy. Ok fine. Good...Because it sounded pretty fucking fowl to me and nasty. More importantly it is an absolute waste of time and resources. The model involves way too many people (perhaps it could involve less) and way too many steps. I'm sure like everything else out there the entire system is devised to employ more people and spread around money. Why? God only knows why. It is really necessary to have a sales person sell a client a product then have that client's project manager consult with the sales company's project manager to then consult with the design firm's project manager to then hand off to a designer to work on and go back and forth through the chain several times? In the end the final project becomes devoid of any design skill or even fails to do what it was sold to do? No of course not, but guess what? That shit happens every day.

I really love this analogy they have made for the roles in the "Scrum." Chickens and pigs. The pigs are the developers. Wow. Gee. Thanks. The chickens are those interested in the project but really irrelevant (um...so why are they there?) because (get this) IF it fails, they are not a pig. Meaning they had no commitment. Meaning they are still ok. Oh......so I get it. Blame the poor developers. Blame the people who can actually DO the work. Sure fire them if shit goes down wrong. They're replaceable right?

Give me a break! Sometimes you just don't find talented developers walking around on the street you know. What can you find? Some bullshit assistant or person that can use Word and Excel to be one of thse so called chickens...and they should be cheap. Whereas a developer should be more expenisve.

Maybe not. Who knows...But boy this world is really screwed upside down isn't it? Of course the actual product owner is also on the pig team...but we all know his/her job is perfectly safe! Unless it's some larger operation maybe...MAYBE. So what do they call these people who can use Word and Excel? "Consulting Experts." Maybe...just maybe they took a basic course somewhere in software development. Maybe they have some minor insight besides using Word and Excel that makes then an "expert" right? Otherwise they would just be a normal consultant.

Give me a break. How many meetings and how many people are involved? Guess it depends. What a complete waste of time. People. Staying on top of your projects is as easy as one person overseeing and knowing what's up. Then using a collabrotive device (even a printed sheet of paper each day) like basecamp or trac. Then prioritizing. Delagating. Assigning. Knowing your team. Working well with your team. It's as simple as that. Maybe...Just maybe on larger projects this might make sense or some variation of it. Maybe you need a consultant. Sure. Why not? I have my reservations because most so called consultants are a complete load of ass...But I can understand on some very serious and very large project...But this whole Scrum system? Stupidity. Waste. Judge for yourself, read it on wikipedia. We just all have to learn how to see through this corporate bull shit and red tape. It's really just hurting the working class and those who actually have the skill to do something. It lets those who don't know shit hide more easily.